The Hidden Reason Good Strategies Fail
Many of the strategies we create for a better business, better relationship, or better life don’t fail because they’re poorly designed.
They fail for another reason - one that’s almost invisible until you know how to recognise it.
I’ve been involved in countless strategy and planning sessions over my life. Some in boardrooms with whiteboards and spreadsheets, others in my own bedroom with notebooks. Honest conversations about life, relationships, meaning, and the future.
In both rooms, the energy is similar:
✔ conviction
✔ logic
✔ belief
✔ a vision of a better tomorrow
And yet… many of these strategies don’t deliver on their promise.
It’s easy to blame the external world - economics, markets, people, technology, timing.
Some of that matters, of course.
But I’ve been paying attention to the part we can control - the human layer that sits underneath even the best-designed strategy.
And here’s the uncomfortable insight:
Many strategies don’t fail because they’re badly designed.
They fail because something invisible is driving them.
That invisible driver is validation.
Validation: The Hidden Variable in Strategy
Validation is not a superficial need - it’s fundamental.
We all seek validation in different ways, through different channels, from different sources.
It could be validation through:
approval
acceptance
feeling important
being seen as competent
feeling in control
being the one who saves the day
being independent
being irreplaceable
And here’s the kicker:
Where we seek validation quietly shapes:
how hard we work
what we prioritise
what we tolerate
what we avoid
So if your strategy asks for one thing…
Example: “Delegate more because you’re the bottleneck to growth.”
…but your internal validation comes from something else…
Example: “Being in control” or “Being the one who fixes things” or “Being needed.”
Then misalignment becomes inevitable - even with good intentions.
The result?
The behaviours don’t match the strategy.
And strategy is ultimately delivered through behaviour.
When Validation and Strategy Collide
This is the part we rarely talk about in business circles.
Because strategy lives in documents, but behaviour lives in humans.
When these two aren’t aligned, you get micro-frictions that compound over time:
Delegation deferred
Decisions slowed
Priorities muddled
Capacity strangled
Leadership bottlenecks reinforced
And people quietly disengage, burn-out, get anxious, question themselves and you ...
All while you tell yourself the strategy is sound (and it often is).
Now extend this beyond one person…
Because businesses - especially family businesses - run on collective behaviour, not just strategic planning.
Multiple leaders.
Multiple validation needs.
Multiple behaviours.
Multiple collision points.
This is misalignment at scale.
And it doesn’t take a catastrophic failure to derail strategy.
1% misalignment, multiplied across people and time, becomes a significant strategic miss.
Small drifts become big gaps.
Alignment: Where Strategy Meets Behaviour
Alignment is not a “soft” concept.
Avoiding it is.
True alignment happens when three things line up:
✨ The work feels meaningful (worth the effort)
✨ The rewards feel right (financially and emotionally)
✨ The validation reinforces the direction (you feel good about how you’re winning)
When those layers click:
execution gets cleaner
decisions get faster
systems get lighter
profit stops requiring sacrifice
leaders stop firefighting
relationships stop absorbing the cost
In our Abundance in Business Method™, alignment always begins at the ME layer, no matter how much someone wants to jump straight to “the business stuff.”
Because if the ME layer is misaligned, the Business layer will always cost more than it should - in time, money, energy, relationships.
So What Do We Actually Do With This?
The first move is self-awareness.
Not as a personality exercise, but as a behavioural reality check.
Ask yourself:
👉 Where do I seek validation?
Because your validation source will quietly determine:
how you show up
what you avoid
what you protect
where you feel safe
where you feel threatened
how you make decisions
And once that’s visible, strategy suddenly becomes easier - not because strategy changed, but because the human executing it did.
Reflection Prompt (for Leaders & Family Businesses)
👉 Where do you notice yourself seeking validation most often in your work right now?
Through control?
Through being indispensable?
Through approval?
Through independence?
Through being the hero?
There’s no right or wrong - only awareness.
If you’re curious how this plays out inside family business dynamics, power structures, or succession… DM me or reach out. It’s one of the biggest invisible forces we work with.
FAQ: Common Questions We Get From Leaders & Family Businesses
Q1: Is validation always a bad thing?
A: No. Validation is healthy and human. The issue isn’t validation itself - it’s when validation needs quietly override strategic intent.
Q2: How do you identify where validation is coming from?
A: Through patterns. Look at what you avoid, defend, over-do, or over-tolerate. That’s where validation tends to hide.
Q3: What does misalignment look like in a family business?
A: Often through bottlenecks, decision delays, blurred roles, founder dependency, or quiet resentment. Not because people don’t care - but because validation needs are unspoken.
Q4: Can strategy succeed without personal or relational alignment?
A: It can, but it costs more - more energy, more conflict, more time, more burnout. Alignment makes strategy efficient.
Q5: Where does alignment fit in your methodology?
A: In our Abundance in Business Method™, alignment runs through three layers:
ME: personal calm & capacity
US: clarity & direction between partners
BUSINESS: structure & ownership
Most failures come from trying to fix the Business layer before aligning the ME and US layers.
Closing Thought
Good strategy isn’t enough.
Aligned behaviour is what delivers strategy.
And aligned behaviour only emerges when the inner world isn’t fighting the outer plan.
That’s the real work.
Check out our ALIGN Programme
